Reports spread that a mysterious leader in a purple Korean long-coat, fashioned in the form of a modern-day Pharaoh, has sought the throne of the Poobacy. Claiming to be a "new kind of Poobah," this man aims to right the wrong of past Junto indiscretions, specifically noting that Bud Light as redneck cheap beer, Starbucks coffee, burned brownies, adventures of the fishing variety, Atlanta as proper Junto headquarters, and cycling as primary endurance sport have all been given short shrift in their various areas of supposed primacy. The mysterious man aims to wrest all Junto members into line, but one beer-chugging former Viceroy, in a Rock Bottom-Bethesda news conference, vows that this new Pharaoh will not have his way.
KLIM: "This aggression will not stand. The Junto of Washington must stand tall, Confederates from the Commonwealth and Loyalists from the Free State alike putting aside their differences. United we stand, cook out, hike, and drink coffee and beer. Divided, we do all that AND have to ride bikes and go fishing in the South. Wait, could someone go get me a Raccoon Red? Rebuff this Pharaoh. Junto Strong!"
In a rare public statement of unity with his former Viceroy, former Poobah Jacob Gelbaum makes a show of strength in favor of a unified DC-area Junto. (Slides hand under bottom of 3/4-length baseball shirt, rubs belly, and nods head while KLIM makes his call to the masses.) Meantime, Serfs Lang and Leong run to grab two Raccoon Reds from BrewMaster Lively.
Stay tuned...
2 comments:
An Atlanta based JUNTO? What is this, Gone with the Wind?
I vote to raise an army of minion langpods and package pricks then head to GA in order to crush this uprising.
Who is with me?
I'll stand with you, KLIM! DOWN with Junto rivals! I stand behind our Poobah, 100%!
And I am sure we can find more for our cause. Labor Day weekend 2008, Sunday at high noon. J-Day.
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